Friday, May 25, 2012

May 29th and the question of time...

Tuesday is my birthday.

I hadn't thought about what that actually meant until I received a card from none other than Mary telling me everything will be ok. Even then it hadn't sunk in until I reread the card. She was of course, telling me what she had to deal with her first birthday without Uncle Frank. I feel better prepared now to face the fact that Dad won't be calling to send his birthday wishes and share some far fetched story he had read or heard.

My dad would do that alot. He loved to talk about anything, always wanted to share stories. He would often try to recreate comedy bits he heard from comedians. I will say this, his delivery was much better when it was his own story. Repeating another's...not so much. I remember once he called to tell me about a Lewis Black bit. Black was, along with Carlin, one of his favorite comedians. He butchered that bit. I mean destroyed it. I actually had heard the Black special it came from, and let out a laugh at how badly it was delivered. I could do that without him taking offense, because, while he was my dad, he was also one of my closest friends. We busted chops constantly, something that I find I miss more and more as the days slip past.

Come Tuesday, I'll be 33, something that doesn't mean much to me. While it sounds strange, I've started to care less about age and more about time. I remember when people who were older than I am now used to tell me, "Enjoy the time, it goes by faster when your older." I never understood that when I was younger. Who would? A second was a second, minutes and hours never change, they are a set amount of time. But they were right. In a few days, I'll be another year older, and it will have been a month since he passed. Where did those 30 days go?

I was just in Georgia making arrangements and helping my mother out with the tasks that no one should have to face alone. Hell, I was just at the lake last Memorial Day with my future wife telling my youngest to get out of the water because it was only 55 degrees and her lips were starting to lean towards a tint of purple. Where does it go? When we are younger, time seems to drag on. Waiting for something seems to take an eternity. Now, I can't help but look back at everything I've done and question how it all slips past so quickly. Not that I regret any of it, I just wonder where it went.


  1. I love Lewis Black. Got to see him perform live twice. Great comic. Miss George Carlin. Growing up I used to listen to his stuff.

    Hopefully this will be the only time I feel the need to share this, but I was my Mom's best friend. We did have a rift but fortunately we mended it before she passed. All the memories of our conversations, the things she passed down to me biologically as well as spiritually, I get to see that every time I look in the mirror. And in a few weeks, I will be able to see all those things and more when my daughter comes to visit.

    Our parents never leave us... from memories, to habit, to our children, they will always be with us.

  2. It is hard to see the perspective you have. I was the Baby of our family. I had older Brothers adn Sisters who could have been my parent, so I never got a chance to share as you did with your dad. What a special relationship. I can understand a BIG HOLE left in your life.

    We all try to explain the answer tot he question:WHERE DID TIME GO? Time turned into memories. Some folk learn how to cherish the memories. Memories are like DNA, shucks maybe they are DNA. No one's is the same. I see them as a great movie or a horror story. I think yours will be a GREAT MOVIE, as it re-runs on your screen only. Give it good reviews, call it up, sit back, cry at the sadder parts and laugh out loud at the funny parts.
    Great entry. enjoyed the read!!!!

  3. Lewis Black is the shit, man. :D

    As far as time going faster the older we get, it's a perspective thing. When we are younger, say 6 years old, the summer lasts forever because our entire perspective of life is only 6 years long. By the time you get to your teens, your perspective is much broader but adolescence rather distracts you from noticing so much (although September and the beginning of school does come more quickly than we'd like). Same with College and the beginning of our careers. For a lot of years there we are filled with new experiences that keep us from noticing the change in perspective of time so much. In fact, most of us don't start to notice it until we are in our 30s (which is where you are -- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!). I just turned 50 and time is really starting to whiz by. And for my mom who is 88? Well our trip to Williamsburg two Christmases ago seems like a couple of weeks ago to her. So you're not doing anything wrong that's making the time seem to be slipping away from you. It happens to all of us at some point. And it's totally mathematical. Live in the moment. Enjoy every second. And do what you love.

  4. I adored his stories too. To me your dad was a loved, trusted, unbiased, larger-than-life authority on everything. He made me feel ok with my nutty mixed cocktail of internal contradictions..& he always let me know that everyone has them, but few admit to them.

    Happy Happy Birthday.


  5. Happy Birthday Jonathan! I loved the wonderful post from you on Mary's blog. It was touching in a very special way. Penny

  6. Hope you have a Happy Birthday Jonathan!

  7. "I've started to care less about age and more about time." That doesn't sound strange to me at all. It's exactly how I feel.